Sad Nights
Sad Nights
I thought I was doing ok. I still miss you and think of you everyday. I thought I was doing better. It was easier to remember your smile than remembering that you’re gone. It was beginning to hurt less than yesterday and the days prior. I thought I was. It was a lie. It was a storm in the wings. I still cry at night. The nightmares still scare me, but the sunshine seems to bring better memories. I miss you so much. ❤️😔💔 The closer to my birthday, the worse the storms get. It hurts. Realizing more and more that listening to the last message from you is the last time I heard your voice. I keep thinking the message will change... it doesn’t... I believe it when you say “See you soon, Baby boy! I love you” but you won’t... January 2021, I will hate the date forever. I feel like those bad dream will end and you’ll be there, it’ll be my birthday and everything will be ok. 2 days away and I feel almost as bad as in January. It’s thundering and raining outside. That’s good.. it’ll hide my tears and uncontrollable sobbing.
Even the sky knows I’m sad. 🌧😔💔
I hate this world without you in it. I know I wasn’t the best son... I worried and disappointed you more than I’m proud of... But you were still here... I miss you so much, Mom