Thoughts and Focus
Thoughts and Focus
My Thoughts these days often begin with my briarwood churchwarden pipe in one hand and a zippo in the other.
A well packed bowl of “Old Toby” tobacco for the comfort.
Thinking over grief and loss in the way my therapist suggested.
I escape the irregularities of my own mind and the cadence of pipe sips and puffs help me to focus… while simultaneously taking my mind off the bone chilling cold I haven’t been able to shake.
It’s like magic.
A focal point of creativity.
Escaping into singular thought while silencing the flooding noises of my mind’s minefield attempting to make sense of grieving the loss of my mother without falling prey to the guilty conscience of a son who thinks too often “was there something I could’ve done?”
Cancer. The faceless thief of so many loved ones… stealing time from all.
But How do you stop a ghost?
How do you stop a disease?
How do you stop… time?
They all say “Everyone grieves in their own way…” but nobody taught us how to grieve or how to even prepare for grief…
What to do?
Long thoughts… a focal point… at least.
KTUPUA
January 2022